Greatest Story Ever

I work with some real characters.  The chief among them being Ray Welnack.  Chris and I often quote his, "Piss on you bitch" line which comes in handy when you want to quickly tell someone off.  He is in charge of the garage on campus and oversees Rooster, the mechanic.  Ray just left my office and I must report to you that he just told me one of the greatest stories I've ever heard.  I'm going to tell it to you as it was told to me so it will involve a lot of swears. 

Ray comes in my office and asks where Brian is.  Brian is our irrigation guy and he's always mad at someone or something.  Always.  For this reason everyone calls him Cryin or Cryin Brian.  I tell Ray that Brian is on vacation.  We trade a couple of stories about Brian getting mad recently.  And Ray says, "You should have known him when he first started working here.  He was an even bigger asshole.  I remember one of the first days he worked here he was standing around in the garage and he says, everyone one of you motherfuckers that has been here for more than ten years should be fired so they can get new blood in here."  So Ray says to Brian, "Is that right?"  Brian says "That's right."  Ray goes to his office and writes down on his calender the day Brian made this statement.  Ray waits.  TEN YEARS LATER, TO THE DAY Ray hears Brian out in the garage.  Ray walks right up to Brian and gets in his face and says, "When are you gonna leave motherfucker?"  Brian is completely confused and says, "what?"  Ray says, "I said when are going to leave you cryin bastard?"  Again Brian says what.  Ray says, "Ten years ago you said everyone that has worked here for ten years should leave so I want to know when you are leaving.  Central Expressway runs north and south so hit the fucking road you sorry motherfucker."  Ray says Brian remembered the statement and therefore couldn't argue.  Ray then adds that Rooster almost "shit his pants" because he was laughing so hard.  Ray went on to explain that the reason Brian is always complaining and getting mad is because he has "bitch tendensies" because he was raised by his mother. 

Ray waited ten years, transferring the date each year to his new calender.  What a sick mind!  I love it.

Ray Welneck.