"A Scotty dog Christmas." Whitney, thank you for that incredible quote. It has been filed away along with:
"She chops her chicken too big." (This said this to Mom and I over 1,375 times on one visit in reference to Deedee's horrible chicken chopping skills."
"Billy is such a busy man." (Because Uncle Billy continually puts work before Meme)
"I'll let you wait on me."
"See you in the a.m."
"Where's Mara" (sub Mindy, Whisper, McDuff, Mandy)
"I'm in my stooper."
"Are you hot?" (translation- I'm hot, turn on the fan.) and about 4.24 minutes later she'll say,
"Are you cold?" (translation- I'm cold, turn off the fan.)
"Is it loud enough?" (translation- I can't hear the t.v., turn it up.) Followed immediately by,
"Is it too loud?" (translation- The t.v. is too loud, turn it down.)
"Do you want a different knife to cut that sandwich with?" (translation- Get a different knife to cut that sandwich with.)
"Huh?" (This or "what" is asked after absolutely everything you say to her. She says it before she's even bothered to process what you've just said. It's possibly her most annoying habit)
"Speak to my dawg."
And, I debated adding this one because it is one of the meanest things I've ever heard a person say but I'll throw it in anyway. "You know how those Spanish people are so emotional." This statement was casually said to me when describing how her friend cried while watching her brand new dream house burn to the ground, a house she and her husband as worked and saved for their entire lives.
It's early and my brain isn't functioning.. what am I missing?
*A warning to my readers. We make fun (as a coping mechanism) of the eighty and ninety year olds in my family. This being said, Mimi, Granny, and Doc are/were given such unparalleled care by their children (and P.C.) that it's completely justified.
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Yes, you forgot:
ReplyDelete"Billy is so patient."
"P.C. is so patient."
Translation of both of these: "Barbara is not so patient." which is true.
"Billy likes to take me shopping." or "Billy loves to shop."
Translation: "Barbara hates to shop, and I don't like to shop with her."
"I appreciate Billy having my yard mowed, but..."
"I'm so busy."
barb
and "Flames, Billy, flames!!"
ReplyDelete"Mandy.....Mandy....Mandy....Barbara...Barbara...Barbara"
ReplyDelete"Same ol' dog." (the barking Mindy as anyone enters the home)
ReplyDelete"That baby child..." (meaning Mindy, of course)
"Monday is my day off."
"I'm sooo excited!"
"I've been celebrating my birthday for a week!"
"The workers next door made Mindy the way she is"
Monday is my day off!!! I can't believe she says that.
ReplyDeleteAnn in regard to your "Monday off" comment, all I have to say is believe it.
ReplyDeleteTo add to PC's comment as to why Mindy is the way she is, I will list her Scotties in order along with Meme's appropriate reason they were crazy not to mention stupid:
McDuff: Doug, the next door neighbor at the time teased him and made him mean. Personally I think me kicking the hell out of him after biting Ann when she was about 5 could have had something to do with it. Of course Meme thought at the time Ann provoked McDuff so most of his problems were possibly caused by Ann and I.
Whisper: Carpentry work next door made her the way she was.
Mandy: Carpentry work again was the culprit.
Mara: No emotional problems which I consider extremely rare for a Scotty.
Mindy: Again, carpentry work next door.
Conclusion: Do not buy a Scotty
Comment from Billy:
"I didn't mean to upset you": Translates to me blowing my top after being told the same thing 10 times in 10 minutes.
"We're on the right track": Immediately after leaving the last unnessary doctors visit.
Her next door neighbors, both sets, have really done a lot of damage. I had no idea construction work was so hazardous to a dog's mental health.
ReplyDeleteNanny says the EXACT same things about "are you hot" and "are you cold". When confronted with "no, are YOU hot/cold", she refuses to acknowledge that the statement was made to address her own discomfort - absolutely REFUSES to. "No no no, I just thought you might want to turn the fan off."
ReplyDeleteI guess it's polite? I don't know, but it is funny.
Those are great!
ReplyDeleteHappy Thursday!
Kisses:)
"Do you think my rug is too light? I'm glad you don't think it's too light. Do you think it's too light? I thought it was too light at first, but I guess it's not too light........"
ReplyDeletebarb
"I'm kind of a christian scientist": Who goes to every different kind of doctor she can think of. For example, here are a few of her latest medical quotes from our trip to the eye doctor on Wednesday.
ReplyDelete"I need to make an appointment with Dr. Bailey who operated on my little toe about 20 years ago. It feels like a coal of fire." "I think we need to have my ears looked at by Dr. Windham in Vicksburg." I feel dizzy sometimes so we may need to go to the audiologist in Monroe." "I think my tear duct is stopping up again. What was the name of that doctor in Jackson?" I will be taking her to the dentist in Vicksburg in August. She goes to the dentist every 3 months, is 90 years old and has never had a cavity or a crown.
Ann you should have never gotten all of us started on this as I do not know if these comments will ever end.
"Feels like a coal of fire"!? Now that's a good one.
ReplyDeletebarb
I forgot she was a christain scientist. She attributes her good health to not drinking or smoking. She only causes others to need a drink and a smoke.
ReplyDelete